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Day Hundred Fifteen – SBMBW May 28, 2010

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I woke up with a totally messed up mind, pondered on for few minutes and settled for giving it a quick clean-up, it helped.  To keep myself glued to the battle I decided to remind myself about my priorities and consequences of loosing the battle. I narrated the “hypothetical post  loosing the battle” scenario to myself, it was horrifying. Determined, once again, to win the battle  I decided to put all planned steps to immediate action. Few steps are giant leaps  and would have long term consequences but  was there a choice? No  there was not.

Having relinquished control over all non battle tasks I have taken the battle head-on. Now I am chasing a single word,  Victory. Victory shall be ours, because Some Battles Must Be Won.

Day Hundred Fourteen – SBMBW May 27, 2010

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There is no turning back. The battle has been raging, the results have been to my satisfaction and I am still able to use my mind, but it is becoming very tough. Today the battle almost succeeded in overwhelming me with stress and stake.  My eyes went dry, my body went still, my lips would not move and my tongue was sealed, my hands shivered and my feet locked themselves. It was tough, all I needed  was just a hand which can hold me and get me back in control. Amidst all anxiety I exactly did that and the tears started flowing.

Not sure whether the battle has slipped or I am still fighting, I kept going, no big fight came my way and an uncertain day came to a certain end. The flame is still around and i still believe that – Some Battles Must Be Won.

Day Hundred Thirteen – SBMBW May 26, 2010

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Reaching out to an opium trader is a crime. Negotiating with an opium trader is a crime. Buying opium is a crime.  Putting it on your hand is a crime. After all this, saying that it is a bad thing and not eating it is a mother of all crimes. The way world works today, indecision is one big catalyst for  securing defeat.  Statutory sense of satisfaction is an undesired element and has no place in time and life of those who must fight the battles which can never be lost. It  is always better to be dissatisfied and win the battle rather than being satisfied and loose it. One can always say that dissatisfaction leads to lack of confidence, my argument is -  what does defeat lead to?

It is best not to have  foot in a door to a room which you are not sure whether you want to enter or not?

… Because Some Battles Must Be Won.

Day Hundred Twelve – SBMBW May 25, 2010

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Sarcasm sometimes helps, but if someone close to you is always sarcastic you need to ask yourself, why I am still there? Sarcasm puts down people and if someone is passing sarcastic remarks all the time against you, you need to move away quickly or else you would be finally put down. Battles never have anything in common, the common threads between battles are usually right/wrong, moral/immoral, pride/hurt and so on.    Nothing can take your battle away more than being in a company of a sadist. A sadist essentially is wrong, immoral and hurts you, take a break and do away with the sadist.

If there are  people who are sarcastic, sadist and cruel to you around you, they must go.  It is really a pity that an early call was not taken and you became a victim of your own misjudgment. The cost is bound to be tremendous, it is important to move far away from them irrespective of the cost. Those who get the worst out of you have no place in your proximity if you are fighting a Battle You  Must Win.

Day Hundred Eleven – SBMBW May 24, 2010

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Imperfections of the past live in both my conscious and subconscious mind, from time to time I turn back and start exploring my options to settle them and live beyond them. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail, success makes it easier to clear the mind space, failure further adds to my misery by taking over whatever is left of my subconscious mind. At times I have paid (what looked) unreasonable cost for releasing my conscious  mind, invariably after few months and in couple of cases after few years that cost looked insignificant.

Imperfections of the past may or may not contribute to failures of tomorrow, but perennial movement of imperfections in mind definitely does.  Whatever it takes, it takes – but it is important to bring these thoughts to an end, Because Some Battles Must Be Won

Day Hundred Ten – SBMBW May 23, 2010

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A lot can be done in a day, a lot more can be done in an hour, and the same can be  multiplied in a minute, but it is important to always believe in the thought which doesn’t even need fraction of a second to change (at least yours) the world. The world for  me once again changed this Saturday, I have made a quiet U-turn, back to the basics. It is going to be tough. Time, thought and decisions have created quite a cloud around me and maybe I have started believing in the merits of being under the cloud.

All battles are about thoughts and their execution, the challenge begins as my  intentions all along translate into a decision. In last few years I have taken few decisions and my firmness has been mixed, but my track record for past six months has been to my satisfaction, most of the decisions have passed the test of the time.

A lot can be done by a thought acted upon, much more is to be done by acting now… Because, some battles must be won.

Day Hundred Seven – SBMBW May 20, 2010

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And you have friends. The battle is not over but one phase of the battle is surely behind me. This phase lasted for all of one hundred and nine days. Living one day to an agenda is a challenge but if you tell yourself that you must win even  hundred and nine  days pass by swiftly.  The learning of this stretch of my life is “And you have friends” they just step in and out as if they are an extension of yourself. I have few of them and all of them were firmly beside me as I fought through (what has turned out to be) the toughest stretch of my life so far.

Every one of them had their own unique way, one would hold and pat my hand, another would hug, the third one would always find time for me literally thousands of miles away and the fourth one would add value by participating in my thought.

They were there, they are there, they would be there… thank you my friends, it looks like we still have lot of distance to cover. This battle is won, the war – let us talk about it tomorrow… because Some Battles Must Be Won.


Day Hundred Six – SBMBW May 19, 2010

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What is a beautiful mind? Is beautiful mind a myth? Do some people really have beautiful minds? Are these “New Age Gurus” blessed with beautiful minds? Is going to these `Gurus’ a  crash course in acquiring beautiful minds?  Can anybody in the world make your mind beautiful? I woke up few hours back with series of these thoughts and I am still confronting them.

To me a beautiful mind is the one which makes an adult sleep beautifully like a child at night, every night. Of course without any sleep therapies or medicines. A mind which can empower sleep has to be beautiful, to give anything to anyone requires some sort of intrinsic beauty. My mind has always overpowered my sleep, it has always commanded and lorded over the fact that it is the sole deciding authority for -  when and how much of sleep I can get. My mind has always been dictating the kind of dreams I am going to see and the part of the dream I am going to remember. I am sure I have a restless mind which gallops as if it is a horse in a horse race where the racetrack is big enough to accommodate few galaxies.

Lack of good sleep does affect my battle readiness, my restless mind leads to a restless body. I do fight, but with a restless mind and restless body the odds firmly stack against me.

It looks tough to win this battle without a beautiful mind, there is a lot at stake. I must fold within, as many folds as I need, as tight as I need,  so as when I unfold it should be wrinkle free mind capable of conquering the galaxies and not intimidated by them.

I need a beautiful mind… Because Some Battles Must Be Won.

Day Hundred Five – SBMBW May 18, 2010

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What is not a defeat may  not be a victory.  I don’t shave but I do understand the phrase ‘close shave’  – it was indeed a close shave today, very close. Presence of mind and the basic principle of  “to always err on the side of caution” saved what could have been a bloody start to an otherwise comfy Tuesday.  I now understand the meaning of battle hardened and the sixth sense which averts or cautions  against a lurking danger. I can vouch for that both independently and I have first hand experience.

The quality of experience is a different story. It is one experience which I would out have loved to do without, one skill without which my life would have been only better. I only wish the battle hardened self and a nose for lurking danger remain restricted to the battle only and don’t enter/ affect my non-battle everyday life.

If it is a battle, you must be prepared to be battle hardened… Because Some Battles Must Be Won.

Day Hundred Four – SBMBW May 17, 2010

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Some moments within battles can be incredibly exciting, enjoying these moments can enliven the battleground and bring a smile on a charred up face. This moment like all moments maybe short-lived but who doesn’t need breaks.

Breaks are also necessary to go on and can be used to resolve responsibility fixation. For most stress points the responsibility of creating and resolving lies squarely on you. It is important to assign it against your name and work on eliminating the stress point permanently. You may have to give in to avoid a stress situation more than you can dream of or be willing to, but then simple question remains – what is bigger the battle or the stress points? Of course the battle is bigger than the stress points. So give in,  curse yourself, shut your eyes to the world, put hands over your ears, seal your lips tightly, blow out your cheeks and throw your head on the table and if all of that is not enough shake your head, stomp your feet, throw your hands in despair but give in and move on, and move on, and move on.

Because, some battles must be won. Because some battles must be won any which way. Because this is one of those battles which can just not be lost.